- Published: Tuesday, 12 December 2017 18:31
Feeling sad? You might have paddling separation anxiety!
As the cold winter is getting its icy grip into Canada, paddlers and boaters are feeling sad (as well as Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)). They are missing the solitude of paddling the wide open waters of the French River and Georgian Bay and the beautiful surrounds. It's understandable, as there's no place on earth quite so tranquil and spectacular...
Paddling Separation Anxiety (PSA) is a serious psychiatric condition that affects many paddlers. It can be contracted anywhere, but after they've been to Hartley Bay Marina, they are guaranteed to be afflicted during winter. The condition is acute and curable only by regular paddling trips to Hartley Bay Marina.
Symptoms of Paddling Separation Anxiety typically start at the close of summer paddling season, and include a severe state of impatience, alternated by anticipation, hope and agitation. The symptoms typically dissipate once summer rolls around.
A complex set of aberrant behaviours are associated with Paddling Separation Anxiety, and can be highly annoying and inexplicable to non-paddlers.
Photo to the right: C/O one of our favorite paddlers Jordan Swec - western outlet trip in August 2017.
Obsessive Paddling Separation Anxiety Behaviours
· Checking up on your paddling gear every week or so, just to make sure it is still alright... And talking to your kayak about all the fun you two will have when paddling season opens up again.
· Imagining that you heard your kayak respond that it is ready to go.
· Dreaming about paddling at night... and during the day and zoning out during other horizontal fitness activities with your loved one.
· Looking longingly at photos you took during last season's paddling trips and posting them on social media so that your friends can validate your condition.
· Finding excuses to visit your favourite paddling shop (if it’s still open even, or maybe you showed up and it’s closed), just so that you can have someone non-judgmental to talk to about your affliction.
· Irritating your non-paddling friends with constant talking about paddling or sharing paddling updates on Social Media.
· Noticing that your summer calendar is already full of paddling trips.
· Secretly stashing away cash to fund your trips and paddling gear.
· Brown-nosing your partner to do more paddling trips in summer, even on that weekend when her/his best friend is getting married.
· Checking Facebook obsessively and talking to other people who are also suffering from Paddling Separation Anxiety.
· Counting the days to summer so that you can go paddling.
· Ice fishing and pretending that your clothes are soaked because you fell into the lake (really you did a polar bear dip) - even if that means risking hypothermia.
· Ignoring friends who say you should see a shrink about your paddling obsession.
· Agreeing to see a shrink, provided he or she is also an avid paddler.
· Obsessing over the weather reports, hoping that global warming will bring summer earlier this year.
· Nodding in agreement as you're reading through this list and mentally adding everything your spouse said, starting with "You're obsessed with paddling, because..."
If you answered yes to 5 or more behaviours on this list, you may be suffering from PSA. If you agreed with most items on the list, you need to share this post to help spread awareness of the condition and support you in accessing the cure as soon as Hartley Bay Marina re-opens.